I recently overhead a colleague end a discussion with someone with the words, "and thats why I dont go to church. I didn’t hear the first part of the conversation, but her last remarks caught my attention. Oddly, my first thought was that this good person doesn’t seem to be lacking in any of the qualities fostered traditionally within the walls of churches.There are millions and millions out there with good reason, in their minds, to "not go to church. As someone who only misses church while traveling, I can make a lot of excuses why simply being in church has benefits and value. The other side of me can build a strong case for staying as far away from churches as possible. We can think our way into or out of anything. Spouses have to try to agree on a church, and sometimes one will say, "I want to go to a different church." That may come when one is worn out from money appeals, too many obligatory, exhausting events scheduled, too many tasks assigned or someone has made the kind of clumsy, rude, insulting statement that people in churches are notorious for making. But they stand fast their in their membership in the same church bruises, tired feet and tens of thousands of dollars given away. Sometimes, it’s plain loyalty and recognizing that no place is perfect and they can be forces to shape the life in that faith community.Though it trite, it bears mentioning that those who take the time and trouble to darken the door of a house of worship are patients in a hospital seeking to get better. Whether its sinners seeking forgiveness or folks keenly aware that faith communities provide valuable life supports, I am convinced the benefits are considerable even when the theology might be troubling or flawed. I fantasize sometimes about staying home Sunday mornings — watching CBS’ wonderful Sunday Morning show with Charles Osgood and going from on news talk program ("Meet the Press, Face the Nation and This Week) to the next. There would be leisurely time reading the newspaper and getting to see NFL kickoffs and the start of Diamondback games on the East Coast. But then theres the downside: Missing seeing my many friends, hearing a compelling sermons, attending an adult class, coffee time on the patio, catching up on news, getting the experience of helping out where I feel needed on the campus and potlucks full of heavenly food. A house of worship does, in fact, shape ones spirituality, provides some of the happiest good times and memories and gives families education and experiences for healthier lives. Church camps, youth groups, Sunday school and talents shows are just some of character-building programs that matter. Of course, many dont go to church because there is no tradition of it in their families. Often, one or both parents have been burned by religion and its abuses. Some, in fact, have "outgrown" church. The blizzard of media, books, films, magazines and education they have been exposed to has taken them far beyond the stories of wandering desert tribes 2,000 to 6,000 years ago. Some have developed "full lives" with hobbies (boating, hiking, traveling, golf, etc.) and rich family activities that cannot be cramped by church. And for men especially, the church doesn’t resonated with them. Nothing about it can hook them in for the long haul. They’ll make the Christmas and Easter runs to church, but thats it. I think it comes down to developing a habit. It comes down to "seeking and ye shall find." It comes down to being open to what awaits you there. A key is to explore what meets your needs. Avoid being trapped into a faith or belief system that conflicts with where you feel led. If what they are selling doesnt feel right, keep moving on. But staying home all together on Sunday morning leaves you out of a valuable adventure. Rarely does a church regular say, "If only I had stayed home all those Sundays…."

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