Surely many people grimace when they walk into an unfamiliar house of worship for the funeral or memorial service of a friend or loved one. The surroundings, the theology, rites and style are often strange and daunting. Typically, visitors are on their toes to be sensitive to customs, and they fear they may unwittingly find themselves in the wrong place or somehow about to embarrass themselves. Should guys always put on a kippa at a Jewish temple or grab a service book and practice flipping the pages backwards as Hebrew scripture is read. Can they fold up the kneeler in their pew if they are the only one in that row in a Catholic church? What blessings and statements should they repeat if they are not Catholic? What if they dont feel moved to sway or clap hands at a charismatic church service. If it is a real hugging church or they dont like shaking peoples hands at that greeting time during the service, how can they safely show that? And what would happen if their Lutheran niece stood up during the Eucharist in a Catholic funeral Mass and went forward to receive it from a priest and was oblivious to the strict rules Catholics have about closed communion? Out of respect, there are many who show up at funerals, weddings and baptisms, settings that may make them nervous. They are filled with anxiety that too much unwanted religion will be laid on them. They came to hear about the exemplary life of Harriett, their neighbor of 25 years across the street and didnt want to hear long oppressive scripture and a long funeral sermon about salvation. And, often they are shortchanged about Harrietts life being showcased, instead getting little more than what was written up about her for the paid obituary in the newspaper. Sometimes there is the added pressure of being a stranger and a dread that youre being intentionally watched for your reaction or receptivity to things such that folks will prey on you to possibly join or attend that event Wednesday night for visitors and seekers. Time and again in the service, they are asked to stand and sing a ponderously slow dirge from the hymnal whose insufferable tune they never heard. The strange surroundings give them time to look around and see symbols, stained-glass windows, wall-hangings with scripture and maybe flip through the assorted materials in the pew racks for viewing or taking home. Sometime it is interesting to envision your departed friend I in the context of that congregation, especially if he or she was active there. What was their impact and how did the culture of that faith community reflect in that persons life, behavior and social witness? During these visits to unfamiliar territory, most people come and plant themselves in spots in pews and blend in. Many visitors do only what they have to do and are supposed to do, wary that they might commit a faux pas. Some arrive just before the service and duck out quickly afterwards, not staying for fellowship time. In the end, nonetheless, they have had an ecumenical or interfaith experience. They were exposed to other practices of faith. In most cases, they have seen the most faithful adherents. Some are active true believers, others may be going through the motions. When the visitors get back to the parking lot, they know they have seen and experienced and survived yet another exercise in public faith and gained some new modicum of understanding and acceptance.

Posted in: Uncategorized |

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.